Editor’s Note: A resident of Shalom Apartments, Patricia Mitola grew up in the Midwest, receiving her undergraduate degree in health and physical education from Illinois State University and her Master’s in Special Education from the University of Minnesota. She has published four educational texts for those with special needs, including the instruction of cursive.

She taught 4th and 5th grade in Minnesota before moving to Rhode Island in the late ’70s and taught for a little more than two years at the Groden Center in Coventry and then a couple of years at a training school before moving to Pennsylvania.

She retired officially in 2002 and moved back to Rhode Island three years ago. This letter to the editor is an edited and shorter version of Mitola’s submission.

To the Editor:

Social disorder: lawlessness, destructive protests, beatings, extreme violence, and now murders of our police. Initially, bullying was a problem, then protests, and presently, it has grown to all kinds of disrespect for the law. It has to stop NOW, before it becomes unmanageable – if we are not there already. Obviously, the growing levels of violence are fallout from failure in handling the problem.

The problem has become worse because we are not doing what is necessary to solve the problem. Following the rules, doing what is right, respect for authority – all are learned behaviors.

Since before the ’50s we have had psychologists and philosophers telling parents we must not say “no’’ to our children. Fifty years later, we see the product of “self-pleasing” discipline. Bad behavior has been rewarded generation after generation and we have a very self-centered society that wants to do things their own way. We also have children with suicide problems, addictions, mental problems, and negative self-images.

This can only be corrected by returning to the belief and practice of respect and obedience to authority, rule of law and justice as the abiding guide for home and society.

We have developed a mentality that is opposed to correction, and traded it for appeasing, begging, bribing or buying correct behavior or self control.

Learning comes from experiencing distasteful consequences for not complying with the law.

We have created children who have grown up and become parents who do not have the mindset of a disciplined past culture and do not know how to require obedience. Personal responsibility is gone. 

All persons in role of authority must have purpose and direction for a positive end. They must set AND enforce standards for living. The desired respect for authority, law, justice and order must consistently be applied and expected – beginning in the home, on the job and socially.

Negative behavior will become extinct when responses to those behaviors consistently become unacceptable. To say it simply, when a person misbehaves and immediately is corrected or punished, he learns that he must not do that again unless he wants to experience the consequences.

It is learned visually, auditorially, physically, and emotionally. Verbal correction, as well as visual examples can be successful to warn or remind, or correct. The earlier in life the training and expectations begin, the easier it is to learn desired behaviors.

We have been taught to believe that punishment or directions are mean, so serious disciplinary action will need to be sold strongly to our public. We will need to start at two separate levels – one at the unlawful, destructive murdering level and the other in our homes, as young as possible.  

Our law officers must be trustworthy, supported, protected and taught as needed to enforce consequences for all unlawful actions. We must use stronger consequences with support from the court systems. Punishments must be meaningful and enforced to get the present society into a corrected mental understanding of what is lawful and what is not. Discipline, correction, punishment are not bad, mean or wrong, but a means to build a pleasant and safe environment.

The easiest point in time to address these problems is at the very beginning of life before the wrong patterns are developed.

At all levels in the home, school, work, everywhere – let’s start today to rebuild respect for authority, law and order. Seek help if you need it – it is available. We can beat the bully and unlawful mindset if we do what we must for a brighter safer tomorrow.

Patricia Mitola

Warwick