On Tuesday morning, the Herald posted a message on Facebook. We announced that Cranston schools are no longer allowing gender-specific events like mother-son and father-daughter dances.
And then we asked one simple question: What do you think?
Within hours, 100 comments were posted…
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On Tuesday morning, the Herald posted a message on Facebook. We announced that Cranston schools are no longer allowing gender-specific events like mother-son and father-daughter dances.
And then we asked one simple question: What do you think?
Within hours, 100 comments were posted, and 13 users shared the thread. Clearly, it’s a hot button issue.
First, let us just say that we can sympathize with the families and children who have been negatively impacted by these types of events. To be the product of a broken home with one parent out of the picture, or to suffer the death of a parent, that is a terrible ordeal for a child to go through. These are obstacles even adults struggle with, so to tackle these mature issues in elementary school is a lot to handle.
But the fact of the matter is, dance or no dance, children are always going to struggle with those challenging family dynamics. Eliminating a tradition that encourages family togetherness for the sake of political correctness isn’t going to change that. These events are not about politics. They are about bringing families together. Not every family looks the same, but we should be teaching our kids to adapt and play the hands they're dealt. Opportunities for kids to bond with and enjoy their loved ones are too rare to begin with; why take this away from them?
We aren’t doing kids any favors by shielding them from every harsh reality. They are going to have to confront those issues their entire lives. How do we expect them to do so gracefully and with conviction of character if we instead teach them that the world should cater to their feelings?
We see it in youth sports, too. Everyone gets a trophy for participating. When you’re talking about tee-ball it’s one thing, but as children get older, we need to show them that they have to work hard to accomplish their goals. They’re not just entitled to a trophy, or to being on the starting line-up. They have to practice in order to earn their spot on the team. If they learn the value of hard work early, they will fare much better in school, in work and in their lives.
There is a compromise to be had here, and it is one that many Cranston schools were already operating under. True, calling something a father-daughter dance can sting when there is a little girl who doesn’t have a father to ask. But when the flyer comes home for the “Ladies choice” dance, that opens up the opportunity for that little girl to ask her grandfather, her uncle, her brother or a family friend. Or if you ask most dads, chances are they wouldn’t mind bringing along their daughter’s friend to ensure she isn’t left out.
Family dynamics have changed, and we have to be sensitive to that. But to eliminate these events altogether is taking it too far.
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SingleCustodialDad
Celebrating fatherhood is NOT demeaning motherhood. Should there be NO discussions of mom on Mother's Day??? Only if everyone is as thin-skinned and sensitive and mentally ill as the mother who filed the original complaint. This is when radical feminism has gone too far and influenced the country so hard core that administrators are afraid to look insensitive to ONE mother.
The Superintendent said she will uphold the law. WHAT LAW? She doesn't even know what she is talking about.
www.HowIgotCustody.org My webpage shows how 5 anti-father forces try and drive out fathers. The website shows how this single father like myself can raise a child to grow up and do well, even without a mother, despite what critics say. We should honor either involved parent at anytime. That's not an insult to another. Again, this psychotic single mom took it personally when no one was trying to insult her. She needs to stop flattering herself and get over herself.
Wednesday, September 19, 2012 Report this
DougTarnopol
You completely avoid the whole gender-biasing issue. Not all little girls want to be the belle of the ball. Some want to play ball. Some boys might want to be the belle of the ball, and not to play ball. Some of those little girls, if they don't feel the stirrings already, will grow up to want to be with women, not men. And men with men.
I realize this seems like the apocalypse to far too many, but out there beyond Cranston, people have kind of moved way beyond these nutty reactions to civilizing change. (I should add that I'm happy to read that, unlike the case of the banner issue, outrage against following both law and basic decency is nowhere near as widespread.)
For those of you still mired in narcissistic reaction, sorry, you can't just use the power of the state to ram your view of gender roles down everyone's throat. Organize a big private daddy-daughter dance and have a ball. You can hold it under the banner if you like.
Speaking of which, I hear that Symbol of All That Is Holy is rotting away in a basement despite Bobby Bach's group's desire to have it restored, preserved, and hung in some private building. An endeavor to which my wife and I contributed $500. To apparently no avail.
Finally, even within the artificial confines of this op-ed's point of view, it is shockingly cold to argue, as this op-ed does, that that little girl whose daddy died or abandoned her should just suck it up. Tough love? Sounds like sadism to me. Throw that little girl under the bus so that we can preserve or State-sanctioned gender role-assigning.
Incredible.
Friday, September 21, 2012 Report this
DougTarnopol
You completely avoid the whole gender-biasing issue. Not all little girls want to be the belle of the ball. Some want to play ball. Some boys might want to be the belle of the ball, and not to play ball. Some of those little girls, if they don't feel the stirrings already, will grow up to want to be with women, not men. And men with men.
I realize this seems like the apocalypse to far too many, but out there beyond Cranston, people have kind of moved way beyond these nutty reactions to civilizing change. (I should add that I'm happy to read that, unlike the case of the banner issue, outrage against following both law and basic decency is nowhere near as widespread.)
For those of you still mired in narcissistic reaction, sorry, you can't just use the power of the state to ram your view of gender roles down everyone's throat. Organize a big private daddy-daughter dance and have a ball. You can hold it under the banner if you like.
Speaking of which, I hear that Symbol of All That Is Holy is rotting away in a basement despite Bobby Bach's group's desire to have it restored, preserved, and hung in some private building. An endeavor to which my wife and I contributed $500. To apparently no avail.
Finally, even within the artificial confines of this op-ed's point of view, it is shockingly cold to argue, as this op-ed does, that that little girl whose daddy died or abandoned her should just suck it up. Tough love? Sounds like sadism to me. Throw that little girl under the bus so that we can preserve or State-sanctioned gender role-assigning.
Incredible.
Friday, September 21, 2012 Report this