Most of us dismiss attraction as something that is out of our control. We assume it is an unavoidable and unpredictable emotion that brings two people together and allows them to start living happily ever after.

In reality, Webster’s Dictionary defines attraction as “the action or power of drawing forth a response.” Simply put - attraction is an action and not some fairy tale phenomenon. The down side to this realization is that love and friendship will not come galloping into our lives on a white horse of possibility. However, it also implies that we have a certain amount of control over our own happiness and well-being. I am a firm believer that positive attracts positive and, thanks to the recent success of books such as The Secret and A New Earth, I am not alone. These books explain, in detail, the powerful effects of a positive mindset and a life lived in the moment. They suggest that our lives can, in fact, be changed for the better if we are willing to adjust our energy and cast negative thoughts aside. By maintaining a happy, upbeat and loving attitude, we will receive similar responses in return.

Being a single woman myself, I assure you that there is no better time to test this theory than this February. Valentine’s Day is a day built around love. It is a time to rekindle your romance and shower your partner with flowers, candy and adoration to let them know just how much you care. But what about those of us who are alone on Valentine’s Day - or any other day for that matter? What do you do when the world around you suddenly seems filled with couples and candy-grams? I am all too familiar with the empty void that loneliness can leave in your heart. Luckily, I have found ways to defend myself against these demons of cynicism. I have become a master of my own emotions. When I feel myself slipping into a negative state, I listen to upbeat music and sing like no one can hear. I do something nice for someone else just to watch them smile. When I start to feel alone, I take a class at the gym and chat with my fellow kick-boxers. I remind myself that, as long as I am willing to reach out and make a new friend, I will never really be alone. This Valentine’s Day try out these helpful hints to keeping an optimistic outlook:

* Start a book club or knitting circle

* Join a local gym or wellness center - many offer discounts to senior members

* Volunteer to help those less fortunate

* Reconnect with a family member or old friend you may have lost touch with

* Adopt a pet - there are so many in local shelters that need a good home and the positive effects a pet can have on your life are countless

I challenge you to start living a more positive life and guarantee you will feel an immediate change. People will gravitate toward you and, suddenly, you won’t feel so alone. In the words of baseball great Wade Boggs, “A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events and outcomes. It is a catalyst and it sparks extraordinary results.”

In short, a friendly smile and a cheerful spirit are certain to bring you your happy ending - with or without a fairy tale romance.